From our Hazel Valley Reporter

I don't know who wrote this; not me; wish I had.


For all of you out there in America and across the globe who have fought
so hard to tackle the hideous enemy of our planet, namely carbon emissions, that
bogus god you worship named "Climate Change" or "Global Warming", there is some
really bad news that will be very painful for you to process. But it is my duty
to pass it on to you anyway.
Are you sitting down?

Okay, here's the bombshell. The current volcanic eruption going on in
Iceland , in it's first week of spewing volcanic ash, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE
EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our
planet. Not only that, this single act of God, in it's first week, has added
emissions to the earth estimated to be 42 times more than can be corrected by
the extreme human regulations proposed for annual reductions.
I know, I know.... (have a group hug)...it's very disheartening to
realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while
suffering the inconvenience and expense of driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric
grocery bags, sitting up til midnight to finish your kid's "The Green
Revolution" science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning
supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet
tank reservoir, selling your SUV and speedboat, going on vacation to a city park
instead of Yosemite, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all
of your $1 light bulbs with $10 light bulbs ...well, all of those things you
have done have all gone down the tubes in just the first week.
The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth's atmosphere in the first week
has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast,
carbon. And, those hundreds of thousands of American jobs you helped move to
Asia with expensive emissions demands on businesses... You know, the ones that
are creating even more emissions than when they were creating American jobs,
well that must seem really worthwhile now.
I'm so sorry. And I do wish that there was some kind of a silver lining
to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire
season across the western U.S.A. Will start in about two months and those fires
will negate your efforts to reduce carbon emissions in our world for the next
two years.

So, grab a Coke, give the world a hug, and have a nice day!


We may not know what the future holds,
But we know who holds the future.